Supporting Kids at the Start of the New School Year - Ryoko Koyasu
With the return to a new school year schedules are starting to get very busy again and it is a lot on us as parents, and it is even more on our kids. Monitor how your kids are going and if you are observing post-school melt downs happening more than just occasionally it is time to respond by simplifying the after-school routine.
Here are some tips to help make late afternoons more peaceful when your child is adjusting to the new school year:
Expect kids to fall apart – Your child might hold it all together and be on their best behaviour at school and then the minute they get home they go off the rails. This is NORMAL behaviour. At school your child works so hard to follow all the rules and have so many social interactions it is tiring and they need to let it out at some point.
Plan for downtime – School days are draining and your child needs to balance the demands of a new school year with some relaxation and rest. When you notice a pattern of after-school meltdowns, clear their afternoon/evening schedule for the week where possible. Postpone the playdates, skip the supermarket visit after school, and go straight home and let your child unwind.
Have a healthy snack ready – Your child might not eat enough at school. Drinking and eating are social in nature, and children just tend to snack until they are comfortable. Be prepared for their end of school day HANGRY side to come out and be ready with a nutrient dense snack.
Don’t take it personally – You are probably so excited to see your child/ren at the end of the day to give them a hug and find all about what they got up to at school. Then you pick them up and they are tired and limited in what they want to share, making you feel disappointed or rejected. It is not about you, give them space, time, rest and food.
Sensory play – Draw a bath with lots of bubbles and their favourite bath toys. Or put on some calm music and let them relax with a puzzle, play dough or kinetic sand play. They will love it and it will help them unwind.
A popular book for those in junior primary school at the moment is by Author Jane Godwin and illustrator Anna Walker. They have created a delightful picture book all about families’ busy lives. It’s called ‘Today We Have No Plans’ – ‘a busy week, a slower day brings time to dream and time to play’. Also available for loan at Libraries ACT.
Ongoing concerns about back to school anxiety:
If your child is showing signs of difficulties with adjustment beyond the first few weeks of school term, such as:
– physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches or nausea
– trouble sleeping
– changes in appetite
– changes in behaviour
-expressing not wanting to go to school
they may be experiencing anxiety.
If you have concerns about your child experiencing back to school anxiety-
Make some quiet time together and ask open-ended questions – for example, ‘How are you feeling about starting/going/being back to school?’ This gives your child a chance to share their thoughts, feelings and anything that is worrying them.
Listen closely and acknowledge your child’s feelings without trying to solve problems for them.
Remember, school is a major part of your child’s life, so try to see things from their point of view and don’t dismiss their worries, even if they seem small or silly to you. You don’t need to have all the answers or be able to fix things. Instead, the most important thing is that your child believes they can overcome their feelings of anxiety and know that you are there to help them through it.
For more information on how to support your child through back to school anxiety and where to go for professional support talk to your child’s class teacher as the first point of contact or see the following article on the Emerging Minds website